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Archive for the ‘Panic’ Category

I’ve been a bit sickly in recent days. This is why I haven’t blogged for a while. That and I didn’t really have anything to say. This was a more or less direct consequence of being ill. It’s not very interesting to blog about having watched over an entire season of House in a week (although I have – boom ra. Anyone want to ask what diseases can be diagnosed with a lumbar puncture I am your gal).

Daring to be different I didn’t actually have swine flu, which, as I’m sure everyone knows, was declared a pandemic by WHO a few months ago. Of course as the UK is currently diagnosing people over the phone, using non-doctors and then throwing TamiFlu at anyone with a temperature I’m not sure I trust the current statistics of how many people have been affected thus far.  Several people have been found to have been misdiagnosed. Sadly only when they got worse or died. A 48 year old woman died of meningitis after being diagnosed with swine flu, and a 13 year old boy had to spend six days in hospital after being diagnosed with H1N1 when he in fact had a kidney infection.

As for myself, C (I couldn’t talk at this stage) had to assure the receptionist at the health centre that I didn’t have a temperature or any flu like symptoms before I could get an appointment to see a doctor. The doctor rather unhelpfully said that it was “…probably a chest infection caused by a virus in which case you’ll have to fight it off yourself, but just in case it’s a bacterial infection here have these anti-biotics”. I’ve seen way too many House episodes to not realise that just means ‘I have no idea just eat these and see if it works’. I was all for not eating them but C persuaded me.

I’m much better now. But I think that’s mainly because of the bucketfuls of squash I consumed.

Incidentally there’s also government advice set up on swine flu at directgov including links to the NHS ‘Online symptom and treatment assessment tool’.

I had a go on this tool and it told me to CALL 999 IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!! Okay it didn’t have so many exclamation points but it definitely sounded like it was trying to convey a great deal of panic. Needless to say I didn’t call 999. I wasn’t even messing around – I just answered the questions seriously. I don’t think it’s a very useful tool, amblances take forever anyway (more on this later) without fools wasting their time because the online NHS tool led them astray. The whole flu panic is out of hand – people need to take deep breaths and calm down.

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I can’t sleep! Argh!

I’ve been tossing and turning for about 2 hours. Finally I’ve given up and snuck online to read some articles and suchlike. Normally I’d have picked up my book and read in bed but I don’t want to disturb C anymore than my tossing already has.

I’m so tired it’s just not fair. I have too much on my mind though for sleep. I’m worrying and border-line panicing about stuff and it’s stopping me sleeeeeeeping! I’m dramatically dropping my face into my hands every few minutes as I type this. I didn’t think it would be this hard to get a job back in the UK though. I mean, it always takes me a while to find a job, but usually there’re a lot more phone calls and replies to CV sending than this. So far in fact I’ve had NO replies at all! I’ve re-drafted my CV about 5 times now and still nothing. My brain has melted into a pool of boredom at my feet with all the jobsites I’ve been trawling and e-mails I’ve been writing.

I’m being unfair. I have found one job. A weekend job. That pays minimum wage. And is only for about 7 hours a week. THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TO LIVE ON!!!!!!!!!

I need to breath, stay calm and try and clear my mind.

I think I’ll go rub lavender on stuff and see if that helps.

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This actually woke me up at 2am originally!!! 2am!

I thought a neighbour was drilling. After waiting 2o minutes I angrily launched myself outside to ‘give them a piece of my mind’ only to find a crew of construction workers sawing up the train tracks!

I can’t believe how much noise they’re making! Yargh!

Anyway I thought I’d film them for no other reason than to share with you all the noise! And then I got a ‘bit’ carried away with a video editing program I didn’t even know I had. Huzah.

If they don’t stop soon and allow me to go to sleep I think I will go mad. I’ve already gone outside in only my pants and a t-shirt, sat on a swing and secretly filmed construction workers – who knows what I’ll do with even more sleep deprivation.

Below is the video. You can share in my agony…..

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C asked me this morning if I think I’ll ever get a smartphone.

I can’t get a smartphone, what if it outwits me?

I’ve seen and read faaaar too many science-fiction stories about the folly of intelligent technology. It’s a downward spiral. One minute it’ll be helping me organise my contacts and enabling me to e-mail and twitter, the next it’ll start undermining my life and I’ll end up locked in an old rusty school locker in an alley somewhere whilst it takes my place.

Ah it can recognise my voice can it (supposedly so that I can save all of 5 seconds when I’m trying to find a contact)? Well I’m sorry but that’s only a step away from mimicking my voice. I know how it’ll go – whilst I’m in the loo the phone will call everyone I know, mimic my voice and tell everyone I hate them.

Then as I’m stumbling around wondering why no-one has contacted me for a while I’ll get a ‘text’ from a ‘friend’ inviting me to a party in a place I don’t know. Of course I’ll ask the phone for directions and bam suddenly I’ll be in a dark alley, peering into the gloom. As I stride in looking for the door number all I’ll hear is a gentle electronic buzz from my pocket then the phone will launch up into my face and it’ll all be over.

I’ll suddenly ‘re-emerge’ into society and people will comment to each other “Wow Ella’s sentence structure has really improved since we last saw her, although she doesn’t seem to blink anymore”.

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Firewalls organised by countries seems all the rage at the moment. The recent controversy is Australia joining China and Denmark in building it’s own firewall. They’re being slightly less honest than China though. At least China has the honesty to say ‘Yes we don’t want our citizens having free access to information, we don’t think they will use it responsibly, we’re protecting them, and society’. Whereas Australia says ‘Oh yes everyone has freedom of information, we have no firewalls here….oh wait….except this small one…you can look at what you want of course… unless it’s something we don’t like…’.

This all started with anti-terrorism measures. Must stop those naughty terrorists recruiting each other on ‘terrorism forums’ or looking up how to make bombs etc. Then obviously they thought about it for a while and decided they must also stop naughty people who enjoy looking at naked children. All perfectly reasonable of course, no-one would argue paeodophiles should have free access to what they want. Except…..wait a moment…. aren’t there already laws against that?

Now I hear that there is a ‘blacklist’ of websites in Australia. Apparently if you link to one of these websites you can be fined up to $11,000.  And the blacklist is secret. And not all of the websites on it are illegal. So you can be FINED for linking to a LEGAL webpage that you have no way of knowing is banned. Hmmm. Highly dubious. WHERE HAS OUR FREEDOM GONE????

This seriously gets my goat up.

Wikileaks has apparently sneakily published the blacklist. Only, I just tried to go to the website, and I can’t. It won’t load. That is VERY suspicious!

You can read more here and also here.  Also try clicking wikileaks here and see if it loads for you.

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